Tuesday, January 27, 2009
**AppleCrisp**
Yes.. it is true. I got a new macbook which means AppleJacks is being sold. ;( I feel a little sad about this but he will go to a good home. ;) She promised she would take care of him! lol. AppleCrisp is my new macbook I just got in yesterday. Super excited to be able to learn more about the apple computer itself. Love doing one to one's if anyone owns an apple and are not "pro" one to one's are for you! lol. Truly I love how I was a customer but ended up at the store and being able to relate to all the customers I work with in a way that not a lot of people could. So here we go with a new experience... ;)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
**Lost in Translations**
Seems like women and men totally speak another language. I think that should be a foreign language in itself. The day I understand men... well... I'll probably be in heaven chatting it up with God and he will give me the load down of it all. ...But until that talk I guess this video will have to do! :)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
**Free-Will**
We were created by a father who wanted us to have free-will to choose what we want to do. We can choose to do anything our little hearts desire. Wether it be wrong or right, he created us to be who we want to be. But at times I have to wonder if free will could be a curse at times. Because we do get to make choices, not all of them were always the best. There are thousands of things that I am sure my parents wished I would of done differently but because of having choice, I made some good ones and bad ones. I can only imagine how hard it is to see someone you care about making the wrong choices. But how do we really know right from wrong? Luckily God left us a "Living for Christ for Dummies" aka "The Bible" lol. but without God's word, we really have nothing to guide us through things. So I thank God for the free-will he has blessed me with but hopefully I wont be a stupid lamb and wonder off too far from my Shepherd. ;)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
**Evil Latte**
Today was a normal day... Got ready for class.. Met up with my hott date Shannon for our 8am parking session. She got me a latte and and a yummy oatmeal thing. So I go to class. Ready for English and... I am sitting there talking to a classmate that we previously took a class together before and this girl with a black backpack turned and knocked over my latte all over me, my book bag and carpet.. yeah... didnt say sorry.. didnt help me clean it.. just sat and watched me... so my experience is very much like this clip right here.. evil girl with the black backpack. So I am at home in pjs waiting for my jeans and bag to be washed and cleaned. ;( Hope my day gets better...
Monday, January 19, 2009
**Why God Doesn't have a PH.D**
- He had only one major publication.
- It was in Hebrew.
- It had no references.
- It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
- Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
- It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
- His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
- The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
- He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
- When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
- When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
- He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
- Some say he had his son teach the class.
- He expelled his first two students for learning.
- Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
- His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
- No record of working well with colleagues.
**Teacher's Pet**
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY". (At Least for the Male profs.)
4. Address the professor as "your excellency".
5. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
6. Relive your Junior High days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard erasers.
7. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been drinking.
8. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
9. Sit in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.
10. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?" Become agitated when the professor can't understand you.
11. Wink at the professor every few minutes. (Hey you might even get a date if he/she is cute.)
12. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup Sheet #5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
13. Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.
**Hello Officer...**
1. Man, I have no idea how fast I was goin'!
2. Can you hand me your gun?
3. Care for a doughnut?
4. Whatever you do, don't search my trunk.
5. What exactly is "legally drunk"?
6. So, what's a good bribe go for around here?
7. I hope you realize you're about to ruin a perfect record.
8. Okay, so I was speeding and I let you catch me - how about best of three?
9. If I were you I'd let me go!
10. Met your quota? Happy now?
11. I want your badge number and your superior officer's name right now!
12. You should give the ticket to my damn unreliable cruise control.
13. Speeding is an abstract concept, don't you think?
14. If I had known you were there I would never have been going that fast!
15. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"
16. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
17. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
18. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...
19. Touch him.
20. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
21. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
22. Refer to him by his first name.
23. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
24. When he says no, cry.
25. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
26. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
27. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
28. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
29. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first."
30. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
31. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
32. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
33. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
34. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
35. Trip and fall into him.
36. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
37. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
38. Chew on the pen, nervously.
39. Clean your ear with the pen.
40. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
41. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar...
42. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
43. Act like you are retarded.
44. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
45. Or mumble to yourself.
46. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
47. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm... only 5 of you here tonight...
48. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
49. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
50. Ask if he watches Cops.
51. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
52. Giggle if he did.
53. Talk to your hand.
54. Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
55. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
56. When he frisks you, say you missed a spot, and grin.
57. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
58. Try to sell him your car.
59. Ask if you can buy his car.
60. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
61. Play with the siren.
62. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
63. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
64. Oops... I meant OVER for dinner.
65. Ask if he ever had pu-tang.
66. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
67. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
68. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
69. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
70. Turn your head and whistle.
71. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
72. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
73. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
74. Ask if you can see his gun.
75. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
76. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
77. Tell him you like men in uniform.
78. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.
79. Course I'm pissed officer, d'you think I'd drive like this if I was sober.
80. Hey Asshole! Buckle UP!
81. Officer, if I weren't so drunk right now i'd get out of this truck and kick your ass.
82. (After receiving a ticket) Thanks a lot, Officer Shithead!
83. Is that a baton in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me.
84. I was just on my way to your sisters house.
85. Say, officer, isn't that your mom standing around on the corner?
86. Are you just mad at me 'cause you couldn't go to college?
87. You can't do that, this isn't my car!
88. You look a little slow today, what, one too many doughnuts?
89. I normally keep all that junk right here (pointing to the dash board), but you see, this isn't my car, and uh, right! This isn't my beer either!
90. I dare ya to arrest me!
91. Ha ha! I got your guu-uun! (long on gun as in a mocking tone)
92. Bet ya can't keep up with me now that your on foot! (and drive away)
93. Can i borrow that pen? Thanks, just wanna break it so ya can't write me up!
94. Go to hell and have a nice day! (after tearing up ticket)
95. Could ya leave me alone for a sec? I just want to finish this beer.
96. Hey! That's my beer!
97. Leave me alone! Go eat some doughnuts or something
98. No officer! That beer is Ralph's. No, he's sitting right there! Don't ya see him?
99. 60 mph in a 30 mph area? Could you put down 70 - I'm trying to sell the car.
100. Yes, officer I saw your flashing lights, but you didn't seem to be catching me, so I assumed you were after someone else.
101. Hey, you must'a been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
102. Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
103. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
104. Excuse me, but is "stick up" hyphenated?
105. Hi officer, do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's license?
106. You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
107. Bad cop! No donut!
108. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.
109. You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?
110. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked last week on "COPS"?
111. I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.
112. So, uh, you "on the take" or what?
113. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!
114. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
115. So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?
116. Hey is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
117. When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the video camcorder.
118. Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
2. Can you hand me your gun?
3. Care for a doughnut?
4. Whatever you do, don't search my trunk.
5. What exactly is "legally drunk"?
6. So, what's a good bribe go for around here?
7. I hope you realize you're about to ruin a perfect record.
8. Okay, so I was speeding and I let you catch me - how about best of three?
9. If I were you I'd let me go!
10. Met your quota? Happy now?
11. I want your badge number and your superior officer's name right now!
12. You should give the ticket to my damn unreliable cruise control.
13. Speeding is an abstract concept, don't you think?
14. If I had known you were there I would never have been going that fast!
15. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"16. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
17. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
18. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...
19. Touch him.
20. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
21. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
22. Refer to him by his first name.
23. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
24. When he says no, cry.
25. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
26. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
27. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
28. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
29. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first."
30. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
31. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."32. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
33. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
34. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
35. Trip and fall into him.
36. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
37. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
38. Chew on the pen, nervously.
39. Clean your ear with the pen.
40. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
41. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar...
42. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
43. Act like you are retarded.
44. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
45. Or mumble to yourself.
46. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
47. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm... only 5 of you here tonight...
48. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
49. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
50. Ask if he watches Cops.
51. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
52. Giggle if he did.
53. Talk to your hand.
54. Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
55. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
56. When he frisks you, say you missed a spot, and grin.
57. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
58. Try to sell him your car.
59. Ask if you can buy his car.
60. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
61. Play with the siren.
62. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
63. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
64. Oops... I meant OVER for dinner.
65. Ask if he ever had pu-tang.
66. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
67. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
68. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
69. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
70. Turn your head and whistle.
71. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
72. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
73. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
74. Ask if you can see his gun.
75. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
76. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
77. Tell him you like men in uniform.
78. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.
79. Course I'm pissed officer, d'you think I'd drive like this if I was sober.
80. Hey Asshole! Buckle UP!
81. Officer, if I weren't so drunk right now i'd get out of this truck and kick your ass.
82. (After receiving a ticket) Thanks a lot, Officer Shithead!
83. Is that a baton in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me.
84. I was just on my way to your sisters house.
85. Say, officer, isn't that your mom standing around on the corner?
86. Are you just mad at me 'cause you couldn't go to college?
87. You can't do that, this isn't my car!
88. You look a little slow today, what, one too many doughnuts?
89. I normally keep all that junk right here (pointing to the dash board), but you see, this isn't my car, and uh, right! This isn't my beer either!
90. I dare ya to arrest me!
91. Ha ha! I got your guu-uun! (long on gun as in a mocking tone)
92. Bet ya can't keep up with me now that your on foot! (and drive away)
93. Can i borrow that pen? Thanks, just wanna break it so ya can't write me up!
94. Go to hell and have a nice day! (after tearing up ticket)
95. Could ya leave me alone for a sec? I just want to finish this beer.
96. Hey! That's my beer!
97. Leave me alone! Go eat some doughnuts or something
98. No officer! That beer is Ralph's. No, he's sitting right there! Don't ya see him?
99. 60 mph in a 30 mph area? Could you put down 70 - I'm trying to sell the car.
100. Yes, officer I saw your flashing lights, but you didn't seem to be catching me, so I assumed you were after someone else.
101. Hey, you must'a been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
102. Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
103. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
104. Excuse me, but is "stick up" hyphenated?
105. Hi officer, do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's license?
106. You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
107. Bad cop! No donut!
108. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.
109. You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?
110. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked last week on "COPS"?
111. I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.
112. So, uh, you "on the take" or what?
113. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!
114. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
115. So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?
116. Hey is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
117. When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the video camcorder.
118. Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
**Riddle Me This**
I have a few questions that need to be answered... if you know answers please comment lol. ;)
Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
How do a fool and his money GET together?
Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
How come there aren't B batteries?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
...ULTIMATE QUESTION:
**Retirement**
Yes... it is true all... Tony Dungy retires... :( I am so bummed but he deserves a wonderful retirement to enjoy with his family. ;) here is his speech....
And on a brighter note some Peyton Manning Commercials I love! :) hehe.. I am a nerd..
Sunday, January 18, 2009
**LOST**
As I sit here putting LOST into the DVD player I have to wonder and ask why it is so long.. goodness... its the show that will never end... haha... I like the show but goodness.. I need a conclusion and when it does, it gives me a new question or subject to wait for that conclusion or end. I would of never discovered LOST without my wonderful Lost pushing cousin Amber. lol. So here we go... Time to pop in the disk and lay down and get LOST on an island lol. ;)
Monday, January 12, 2009
**Challenge of the GoBots?**
Friday, January 9, 2009
**I've Been Tagged**
Okay... So my beautiful and wonderful cousin tagged me on this thing where I have to write 10 random/weird facts about myself so here we go... ;)
1. If I were born a boy my name would have been: Curtis Robert Clarence Baker (Those are all my father's brothers names) Thank God I am not a boy because that name is so not a hot name. lol. ONE middle name is good enough for me which is Amy Marie Baker (Very American.. No? lol)
2. I sucked my thumb for YEARS. My parents had doctors put bandages and even a cast on my hand so that I would stop sucking on my thumb. My thumb was swollen up and HUGE and the doctors said that there has to be a way for her to stop... Well... My parents thought about rewards and told me, "Amy, if you can stop sucking your thumb, we will get you a Nintendo system" ...and that day forward I haven't sucked my thumb since. lol. ..guess I can be bought huh? lol.
3. I am afraid of the dark. I try my best to not watch scary movies because it always makes things worst. ;(
4. I was hit by a car when I was in the 3rd grade, I flew 40 feet and landed on the street. Did not have a scratch on my body... God is good! :) Newspapers wrote article after article on that in my city.. It was pretty crazy. lol. Super Girl! :)
5. I hate carrots... yes... that ugly orange vegetable that buggs bunny eats... yeah... ick!
6. Until the age of 16 years old, I was never tall enough to ride the "big kid" rides at Disneyland and Six Flags, so I wore platforms... Shhh... my secret!
7. MTV's show "The Real World" wanted me to be on the show but realized I was only 18 years old at the time, gave me their card and told me to call when I turned 21 years old... I never did call back lol.
8. I have never been in a physical fight with a girl but have been in fights with boys... tuff cookie I am! ...Sad part is, I only lost once and that was to my brother. I let him win! lol.
9. I love my Backstreet Boys more than anything else... but I do admit, I do own a N*sync CD... it was a gift. lol.
10. When I was in elementary school our school had a spelling bee and people would "sponsor" you and one of my sponsors for 3 years was George Lucas (writer of Star Wars) ..his ex wife owned a car dealership that my dad worked for... so yeah... (I have never been a huge star wars fan, but dont tell George yeah? lol)
There you have it.. I have been tagged and there we go... hmm... I think I will tag Amber Rusher lol.
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